Forgive and Forget...
May 23rd, 2022

FORGIVENESS!
We have all had moments where we have needed to offer forgiveness; and we have all needed forgiveness offered to us at one time or another.
What is forgiveness?
On the surface, forgiveness is offered either for a momentary lapse in judgment or for a deliberate action that causes hurt to another person. This could be something very life-changing, or something rather small. Regardless, we can consciously choose to forgive.
Forgive and forget!
This is something we start hearing in childhood. Likely, we will repeat those words to our children. After all, we do not want them to learn to hold grudges or to act out impulsively at someone that they think has wronged them. What is the point?
Anger begets anger and the inability to forgive is really repressed anger.
The art of true forgiveness, however, takes a bit more work than that. It is really a spiritual practice. Forgiving allows us freedom. It is about releasing the animosity you feel toward another individual that has hurt you. In other words, we are forgiving for our own sake
, not for the other person. By releasing our attachment to the incident, we release ourselves from the resentment or pain of that moment.
Ok, so now we have made the choice to forgive an incident that has caused us pain --- what about forgetting?
The two seem to go hand in hand. We cannot forgive yet continue to remember the incident. Or can we?
In the Bible, it is said
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you."
Oddly enough, as much as we have heard the phrase "forgive and forget" that exact phrase is never spoken in the Bible. We are told to forgive but nothing is ever mentioned about forgetting.
So we forgive but we don't forget!
Could that possibly be correct?
When we have been hurt seriously by another person, we should absolutely offer them forgiveness. If we do not, anger will destroy us.
When we do not forgive, we stand in judgment of another person. Since, w
e ou
rselves are not perfect we do not have the right to stand in judgment of another person's transgression.
But to forget that we have been seriously hurt by someone --- is that really wise?
Let's suppose someone has let you down. We can all relate to this. We are hurt, but we choose to offer forgiveness. We no longer feel anger towards them, but, we still have not forgotten what caused us that hurt.
Does that mean that we have not forgiven them completely?
Possibly, if there is still anger, however, it could also mean that we are proceeding with caution. Maybe, we have consciously chosen to give them an opportunity to do better while remaining guarded and protecting ourselves. Or, maybe we have consciously decided to move on and away from it. Either way could be a complete act of love.
We all have people in our lives that we struggle to "forgive" for something. Let's consider this week that offering forgiveness ( even if we don't forget
) is the greatest act of love. We're allowing another person to do better next time ---- and we're giving ourselves the same opportunity to do better next time.
Don't forget --- but forgive
and move on.
One of the greatest acts of forgiveness I heard about was Robert Rule's words to Gary Leon Ridgway, the serial killer that had murdered his daughter. The families of the victims all had an opportunity to speak directly to Ridgeway. Many were angry and lashed out at him. Rule, however, got up and said “Mr. Ridgway . . . there are people here that hate you. I’m not one of them. You’ve made it difficult to live up to what I believe, and that is what God says to do, and that’s to forgive. You are forgiven, sir.”
Wow ---- now that is power!
Did Mr. Rule forget --- not a chance!
But he chose to forgive!
This week forgive someone. Maybe the grievance is small and "forgettable", but if it is not, choose to remember, but without any anger attached to it!
Have an amazing week!
“Forgiving is not forgetting. It's remembering without pain.”
--Celia Cruz
Sincerely,
Fatkin Natural Healing









