When should we let go?
Published July 26, 2021

Do you have the power to "allow things to just be"?
I know I often have a hard time with that.
There are moments that I want to make something work out the way I feel it should. But every time I do that, it doesn't work out like I planned. But when I make a choice to just "allow
" things to flow as they will, it usually works out better than I planned
.
As humans, we have a hard time just "allowing". We want to get in there and fix, or adjust, or correct... or force things to be as we feel they should be
. We can’t just let things go, we always need to be in there trying to change someone, or save someone, or attempt to intervene in “what is”.
This week I was talking with a 92 year old woman who is struggling with a major health issue. Several years back, she lost her husband and a few years later her only son. She’s had a tough life. Because I’ve spent time talking with her, I know about many of the other things that happened in her 92 years, that most people do not. She has family and friends who all care about and love her --- but her “life”, her “world” is on the other side
.
Do you understand that?
I mean, really, deeply understand that? Have you lived it? Do you know how it feels to be walking in a body, essentially alone in this world? Sure --- people care --- but they have their families, their careers, their lives --- and regardless of the amount of “care and love” they have for her, she is not part of that. She is an outsider. They feel she needs their sympathy, their understanding, their help --- and those few minutes they can spare her.
Yep --- that’s her, that’s how she feels. So now along comes an illness. What I’m about say is going to sound harsh --- maybe even difficult for you to hear --- but she’s ready to move on.
She does not want to struggle anymore. Her family, her friends --- they want her to “fight”. Why -- because they don't want to experience the loss of her. She wants to be reunited with her loved ones --- her world. But the pressure continues. Every time she's around someone they encourage her to “fight”. They pressure her, they increase her stress --- they take away her joy that this might soon end and she can be reunited with her loves.
Why do we do this? Talking to her, I, too, had to fight the urge to tell her to fight.
I had to step out of the loss I would feel at her departure to attempt to understand what she felt. What she needs. What she wants. It’s not about me, or my feelings --- it’s about her, and her needs.
Do you do this? Do you struggle to see another point of view. Do you struggle to step out of yourself or your needs and honor someone else’s place in the world Honor their choices?
This is everyday and not just when it comes to death or dying. It’s every decision, every moment in life.
Each of us is on a path. That path teaches us something. Many times there are multiple paths we could take (as in this instance), and maybe none of them is right or wrong --- just different.
Maybe each lesson is different and it doesn’t really matter which way you choose to go, as much as it does what you take from the path you choose
.
So maybe instead of chiming in and voicing our opinion when someone is telling us how they feel --- we should just listen. Choose to just honor and respect whatever choice they make --- and hold their hand along the path of that choice.
You see, they will learn something --- and so will we!
Compassion and understanding are tools we could all work on perfecting. We need to stop allowing our needs, wants and desires to affect someone else doing what is best for them.
I love my 92 year old friend
. She’s been a huge inspiration to me on my journey. She is one of the strongest woman I know --- and as she steps into her power and makes the decision that is right for her
, I will love her through it. That is all I can do. Hopefully when she returns home, she will feel the strength of her life and her struggles in those of us that she touched.
This week, honor everyone and their choices. Open your heart and ask yourself what you would want if it were you. Love them unconditionally --- it is the only tool we have that really matters!
“Accept -- then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it ... This will miraculously transform your whole life.”
--Eckhart Tolle
Sincerely,
Fatkin Natural Healing









