Motivational Monday: Drop the Drama!
(Posted on September 21, 2020)

Take a moment and think back on the story of your life.
Usually when I do this, I can only come up with one word to describe my life: " BORING
"! Not much to report. Grew up, went to school, learned to drive, got a job, got married, bought a house, had a baby, created a life and got old. Yep, boring stuff!
But there were individual moments in there that were, at least to me
, filled with drama and excitement. There were also moments in there that left me remorseful and deeply pained. I'm sure parents out there will agree with me that the day you hold your child in your arms is a pretty drama-filled and exciting day. Watching them grow and achieve success is their life is thrilling. You want the best for them, and you hope that you've worked hard enough as a parent to ensure that they have the life they want. You weigh your decisions, each and everyone of them
, so that your child had only good experiences!
BUT WAIT
! They didn't have entirely good experiences. As you're watching them live their lives, you can clearly see where you might not have made the best decisions.
This came up pretty clearly to me this week when a close friend was making the agonizing decision to put down their beloved dog. Their child is the same age as my daughter was when we lost our first dog. The situations were similar in that the dog was with us before the child. Our dog was our child. Losing her was traumatic for my husband and me, and we attempted to shield our daughter by doing what we felt was the best decision at the time.
I asked my daughter about that event in light of what my friend was dealing with. I was looking to get her adult perspective on this difficult moment in our past. She told me something that made me realize there was absolutely no "good" decision here. No matter what I had done, it would have left her with some residual trauma. There was no "perfect" answer, regardless of what we would have decided.
So if there are no perfect answers—no matter how hard we try—that also means that our parents and generations before them had the same dilemma we now face. I often hear people toss "blame" toward the past for the way their life is now, but is that fair? Do we truly understand where someone was at when they made the decisions they made? Do we truly understand what past experience they had that might have influenced them to choose the path they did?
This is where we can choose to create drama or we can choose to accept what happened as something that helped us to grow, learn, and maybe make a different choose later in our life. Nothing that ever happens to us has to be viewed as a mistake, but rather should be viewed as a guidepost that moves us to another level of learning.
Back to the loss of a pet. We choose to be honest with our daughter about the loss of Kelly, our dog. She was a golden retriever, she was 17, and we loved her dearly. It was her time. We explained that and allowed our daughter to say her goodbyes, but did not allow her to be part of the euthanasia process. We felt she was too young. She remembers this vividly, and it's a very painful emotion for her.
When I was a child, my grandmother had a dog that I loved. He was literally my best friend growing up. When I could drive, I'd go over there just to take him for a ride. I loved him dearly. One day I returned home from work and was told he was gone; that they had taken him to the vet that day. I was never given the opportunity to say goodbye or to hold him while he passed. I believe that everyone wanted to shield me from the pain and that the motivations of everyone involved was of the best intent. However, I carry sadness and guilt for not being with him. I've chosen, as a result of that, to never allow another animal of mine to pass alone if it's within my power. Was this event a mistake in my life? NO it was motivation to help me do better in the future.
If you are stuck in your life—be it a relationship or a job— ask yourself about what part of your past is keeping you there. What belief system did you develop earlier in your life that is keeping you stuck? Do you believe you don't deserve health, wealth, love, or joy? Why? Dig deep. Listen to your inner voice. What makes you afraid to change, or afraid to let go of an old belief system?
Remember to dig deep. Remember that nothing was a mistake.
It happened to you to get you where you are today. AND, where you are today is YOUR CHOICE
. Your choice alone! This is not about blame. No one is to blame for the choices they made. Our parents are not what is causing us a problem in our life now. We are are own problem -- as well as our own solution
.
Look at your life and pay attention to patterns: strong beliefs and events that produce strong emotion.
These are the things you need to work on—the things that need healing. They are also your tools; ones given to you so that you can use them to create good in the world and to change your future.
Don't let your tools go unused. Find them, be grateful for them, and use them for the greater good!
“Most people I know live their lives moving in a constant forward direction, the whole time looking backward.”
― Charles Yu, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe
Sincerely,
Fatkin Natural Healing









