Motivational Monday: Navigating Emotions
(Posted on March 29, 2021)

This week marked the fifth anniversary of the passing of my closest friend. Five years have gone by.
Much has changed. Her remaining family are some of the closest people in my circle. I am so beyond grateful for them.
It's been five years...and this one kicked me in the gut!
Five years
. How is it possible that grief could return with such a vengeance? How is it possible that for nearly 8 weeks now I've been reliving our last time together? How is it possible that I still remember our last conversation? How is it I can still cry like it happened yesterday? I reached out to her daughter the day before --- a nd you know what
, it was the same for her
. How? Why? When will it ever let up?
Why would I bring this up?
These past few weeks I've met many of you that are dealing with great loss. I know
that many of you are receiving well meaning advice from others. I know
that grief is universal; each and every one of us can understand it on some level.
The difference is the level at which you understand it.
Each person will individually travel the road of grief at their own pace and in their own way. If I were to relay this story to certain people, they might look at me like I'm crazy. Like really, it's been five years, get on with it. Here's the thing ---- I have gotten on with it and so has her daughter.
We have moved past that day. We have done what we should be doing. We have taken steps to heal. BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN TIMES..
. TIMES THAT JUST KICK YOU IN THE GUT!
What about you?
Have you lost someone, maybe a parent, a child or a spouse? Are you having moments where it's difficult to process your emotions? Are you having difficulty understanding how someone else is processing their grief?
Remember that the loss of a parent is different than the loss of a spouse. The loss of a spouse is different than the loss of a child. And, the loss of our pets, well I won't even go there. There is no universal healing plan. You--do--you!
Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Don't try to hide them or ignore that they exist. I chose this day to do something positive in the name of my dear friend. I sat with myself and remembered our last conversation. I read through some of the cards she'd given me over the years. I lit a candle in her honor. Does it take away the pain
. No--it does not.
But here's the thing, I don't really want it to go away.
If the pain goes totally away, I might forget this day. I might forget my friend. I might forget the truly unique friendship we had. I might forget the beautiful person she was and the impact she had on me and on the world. I don't want to lose that
. It's worth the pain. I want to use those gut-wrenching moments to feel her impact, to feel how she transformed the world in her way.
When you feel an emotion, any emotion, transform that energy into something that will shine a light into the world. If you need to sit with it for a bit before doing that, that's ok. Give yourself some grace --- and then impact the world!
“Sometimes the joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
--Thich Nhat Hanh
Sincerely,
Fatkin Natural Healing









