Motivational Monday: The Power of Forgiveness!
Posted on July 13, 2020

On October 2, 2006, a gunman walked into an Amish school in Nickle Mines, Pennsylvania. He took the school hostage, shot 8 girls between the ages of 6-13—killing 5 of them—before he committed suicide.
What a senseless act of terror and hatred . I remember sitting in my office and hearing the news and feeling absolutely horrified. My daughter was 10 years old at the time—and in school.
What followed from the Amish community was truly amazing.
On the day of the shooting, a grandfather of one of the murdered Amish girls was heard telling people not to hate the killer, saying, " We must not think evil of this man. " Another father stated, " He had a mother and a wife and a soul and now he's standing before a just God." A gentleman named Jack Meyer said, "I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way, but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts."
And that's what they did. They publicly forgave the gunman and reached out to his family—taking them under their wing. Amazing
!
The gunman's family stated how Amish community members reached out and extended forgiveness to them. There was a story of one Amish man who sat with the gunman's sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.
A truly astonishing act of forgiveness!
I remember talking about this event with people, saying that I wasn't sure I'd have that amount of compassion in me to forgive as readily as they did. Would you?
Forgiveness is such a hard thing to understand. This is an extreme case I'm citing here, but the power to forgive was there within the Amish people in part because of their strong belief system.
When we look at an event like this—and then we look at the things that we are not able to forgive—they tend to pale in comparison (in most cases). What events from your past are you holding onto that you have not forgiven? Are you angry with your parents because you were abused, physically or emotionally? Are you angry with your siblings because you felt that "they had it better than you?" Are you angry with an ex-spouse or partner because—well... just because? Are you angry with an ex-employer because you were "wronged?"
What is that "thing" you are holding onto? What is it that you can't let go of?
What if you were to forgive it? What exactly does it mean to forgive?
Suppose you're angry with your parents because you believe that they emotionally berated you as a child. Maybe they were telling you you weren't good enough, so you decided you weren't and you've been a "failure" ever since. That's their fault, right
? If they would have treated you differently, you would be successful and life would be different. So you hold a grudge. You can't forgive them for ruining your life.
Who are you really hurting here? Not them. Their life was, and is, going to be what they choose it to be. Guess what? So is your life!
You have taken their words, implanted them in your subconscious and you've become that. However, if you would choose to forgive them of that injustice, you may untie yourself from those words, become a stronger person, and lead a more fulfilling life. Most of the time, people do not realize the impact of their words and their actions on others. Many times things are said in the heat of a moment that are not designed to destroy another, but are said in reaction to something else. However, those words or actions cause invisible pains in another person. There is not one person on this planet who has not experienced this. There is not one person who has not been given the opportunity to choose understanding and forgiveness over hatred, revenge, or indifference.
I struggled often with understanding what forgiveness was exactly.
I could say I forgive, but occasionally something would pop up and remind me of a moment in which a strong emotion would again flare. When I think of this Amish community, I know they said they forgave the man. They certainly acted as if they had. I'm sure, though, there were dark moments when those thoughts returned to them and they had to consciously work on forgiving. I believe forgiveness is a process. It might take years to fully forgive. It might rear its ugly head until the end of your days. You might have to consciously offer forgiveness everyday, and you may have to act as if you have forgiven everyday. You know what? That's ok
.
I always questioned when I would know that I had actually forgiven a perpetrator. If you've ever read Dannion Brinkley's books, he talks about his near death experience. He was able to experience all he did in his life from the perspective of the other person or persons involved. ( He was not a nice person {his words} prior to this experience.)
So
, he was able to feel the emotions of the people he hurt and everyone affected by his actions.
He said it was truly a form of "Hell.
"
I believe I truly forgave in the moment I did not wish for the other person to feel my pain. That's when I knew I had let it go.
When I had let it go, I had untied and released myself from that person and that event. It no longer controlled me, and I could move forward with love and compassion. I also found that as I learned to forgive it becomes progressively easier and easier to do—simply because I enjoy the feeling of peace I have when I am not carrying the burden of an unforgiving heart.
This week, work on your forgiveness skills! Let it Go!
Move forward in love! Make the ties that bond you ties of love and compassion, not those of anger!
—Norman Cousins
Sincerely,
Fatkin Natural Healing









