Motivational Monday: The Allure of the Past
(Posted on June 15, 2020)

The past is an alluring place
. It carries with it all the events—good and bad—that made us who we are today. It carries memories; often times they are memories that are lost to us in the physical space of the present. A smell, a food, a breeze blowing threw a window curtain, a sound...they all hold spots in our heart. Hearing, seeing, or feeling those things again can instantly take us back to a place and time in our past.
A few weeks back the past came up for me again in an unusual way. I felt an odd sense of security, almost as if someone had wrapped me in a blanket and said "You're safe now."
I think most of us long for that feeling of safety and security (especially during times like we're living in now) and it can easily trap you. It would be so easy to fall into that sense of security and head right on back to something that wasn't good at the time
— and wouldn't be any better now.
So why do we romanticize the past?
I'm not sure I understand the exact reason for it. Often, if you listen to people talk, you'll hear them say things like "I grew up in the 50's and it was just a perfect time." That, or the 70's were a slower and calmer time. "Families ate meals together, there was less technology, kids were nicer," etc. etc. etc. Are these things true? Perhaps they are, in some ways.
But does this mean that there were no challenges during that time? Of course there were.
Some of those challenges were definitely more difficult than today. I suspect we begin to romanticize the past when present day fears creep into our lives. The past is familiar, and the future is always unknown.
But if we were to sit down and make an objective list of all the " perfect
" and " adverse
" things of each time, and/or each situation in our life, I suspect we'd see things very differently. There is never anything that is completely perfect. We are going to have to nurture any choice we make,—whether it be a relationship, a career, or even a move to a new location. Everything will require our effort. The important thing to pay attention to is whether or not your choice is moving you forward or keeping you stuck in the past. Safety/security feels good,
but it can be a trap that doesn't allow us to move forward.
So when this happened to me, I didn't see it for what it was initially. I became wrapped up in it, it felt good to think about the past and the time in which I felt safe. Then, as life often does, I was given the opportunity to see this from another point of view
. By seeing another person going through a similar situation, I was able to see my situation much more clearly. I was given the gift of clarity; fortunately, I recognized it.
Does this happen to you? Are you trapped in the past? Are you romanticizing areas of your past? Do you want to go back?
If you are, it's time to take a moment and look at it for what it is. If you're longing to go back to something and leave the present, start by making lists. List all the great things about that time of your life (or relationship, or whatever it is for you). Focus on the great things for awhile
. Then sit down and objectively focus on the the other side of the coin. What were the difficult things, or the challenges of that time frame?
What else was going on during this time? Write them down. I kept paper with me and jotted them down as I thought about them. This is likely not something that will take 15 minutes, but could take several weeks or months. Regardless, take the time as necessary.
It's possible that returning to something in your past is a good thing for you. It's possible that you've grown and what seemed like a challenge at the time will be less of a challenge now. It's also possible that you will see you are romanticizing that time, and that it would not be a good thing for you to return to. Keep in mind, that know you are looking at the past with hindsight—something you did not have at the time.
This exercise can help us, once and for all, remove the bonds of the past that keep us from moving forward. That thing that we hold the "romantic" feeling about could possibly be the thing that keeping us stuck in the present—unable to achieve that beautiful and fulfilled future awaiting us.
Notice your conversations this week and what's coming up for you. It might just be something you need to pay attention to!
Have an amazing week, don't look back for too long!!!
“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it anyway except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.”
— Beryl Markham
Sincerely,
Fatkin Natural Healing









